Mrs. Reynolds

I can't believe its 2010 already! How does time go so quickly?
I noticed my sister blogged about her experiences in the first decade of this century and it made me think of my own.
In the year 2000 I was a college student who was engaged to be married. I entered the year thinking I would be living in Indiana for the rest of my life. I would finish college, marry Jake, and we would live happily ever after in Lowell, Indiana. By the end of 2000 I was married to a military man, quitting school, and moving to Texas. I lost a piece of myself in the process of giving up my own life to follow his. I spiraled into a dark time of anger and resentment. I moved to England, nearly got divorced, reconciled, had a baby girl named Natalie, and moved back stateside. I moved to Texas, enrolled myself in college, got divorced and became a single mother, graduated college in spite of this, and became a teaching professional. And through all of it I transformed into a happier, more christlike person. I drew closer to God and made a lot of great friends. By the end of the decade I met the most amazing man.
How incredible is it that I start this new decade with a new last name? Reynolds.
I have to tell you that these past ten years have been a long journey. There were a few happy moments and a whole lot of pain. Through it all I learned how incredible my God is. How intimately he knows me, how passionately he would like to give me all the desires of my heart. I remembered the nights following the day Jake made the decision to leave me. I laid on the bed staring at my ceiling fan, tears streaming down my face, pleading out loud with God to please give me a second chance at a family. I wanted him to please let me be happy again.
God remembered me and my pleas.
I have to tell you that I wake up now and sometimes feel like all of this can not possibly be real. I feel like if I pinch myself I might wake up and find myself alone in my bedroom in San Antonio again. How can I possibly be this happy? How can life have turned out so good for me? Keri. The one who has always been a little too serious and a lot too depressed. I feel like I have a permanent smile in my heart now. The smile is not necessarily because of how amazing Erik is, but how amazing God is. When I couldn't get a job in San Antonio it was because he knew that I belonged here in Killeen. He knew that I was meant to be in this house in Killeen sitting at this computer right now, listening to the sound of Natalie and Jada playing barbies in the bedroom. How amazing it feels to be in the place God has intended. The love that I feel for God and for Erik and for this family is true and unselfish. For the first time in my life I feel like I can love unselfishly easily and I know that is a gift from Him.
Thank you God for transforming me a little more everyday. Thank you for the experiences I have had and the experiences you have in store for me. Thank you for the amazing gift of second chances. Thank you for Erik.
Sidenote: On our wedding day my knees were shaking so bad after I got done walking down the aisle. I stood in front of the pastor next to Erik and kept telling myself that I had to find a way to stop shaking or people would notice. And then the pastor told us to turn and face each other. So I gave my flowers to my sister, turned towards Erik and took his hand. In that second that I took his hand and looked in his eyes my knees stopped shaking, my heart slowed, and there was an incredible sense of peace that came over me. Erik and I were destined to be together. No question. I will spend the rest of my life honoring him and loving him. I am so blessed.